The
last few days have been “trying” to say the least. My daughter
having so much trouble with wedding arrangements (in law over
powering). Then my own anniversary and the nightmare that ensued. All
that started me thinking about people and situations.
Did
you ever just sit and watch the people around you. As a security
guard or an officer it is an important to “Behavior watch”. Then
look for the reasons behind what they do in order to calculate what
they are going to do or are even capable of doing.
Practicing
always lends an extra sensitivity to your ability. Next time you are
in a restaurant watch a couple. Doesn't mater which one. Notice who
touches who and how it is done. Watch mannerisms, and facial
expressions.
Ask
these questions.
Are
each of them happy?
Who
touches who? And in what context? Loving, or motherly, or as a way to
restrict movement?
Are
they in love? Have they cheated? Was their marriage a mistake?
Are
they in a crisis? A celebration? Just another day?
Who
decides on the family decisions?
Are
each quiet, shy, flamboyant, sensitive, a bully, pushy, easy going?
Make
a person profile on each. Check out your thoughts. This detective
work is the first step in profiling thieves and murders, but it also
will help in relationships. It adds reason for actions.
It
may not prevent a fight but it will help you understand the reasons
behind it.
Exercises:
- A man and woman in their 40's sitting next to each other in a restaurant. He isn't saying much, just staring. She has her hand on his leg while she speaks softly, then grazes his face. He pulls back ever so slightly. What is it that is going on between them? (She is being loving while he doesn't want to allow her closeness, most likely a fight or maybe even a loss in the family)
- five friends are talking while standing together. Everyone seams happy. So who likes who? Is there a riff anywhere? Where are they standing, who is next to or just behind who? Standing close denotes friendship, standing within another personal space denotes close relationship, standing just behind someone denote a wanting of a relationship.)
- A couple walks into a restaurant, they are both sad and reserved, barely a word is spoken, there is tears in her eyes which she wipes to hide, and he hangs his head low and apologizes way to much. (This was us the other day. We almost split up. We had fought the stopped but couldn't find out way back.)
So
many times we get into fights because one of the people involved are
fighting past demons or another personal problem. So please take the
time to at least think before throwing a relationship down the
toilet.
