learning to realize stress in others

The last few days have been “trying” to say the least. My daughter having so much trouble with wedding arrangements (in law over powering). Then my own anniversary and the nightmare that ensued. All that started me thinking about people and situations.

Did you ever just sit and watch the people around you. As a security guard or an officer it is an important to “Behavior watch”. Then look for the reasons behind what they do in order to calculate what they are going to do or are even capable of doing.

Practicing always lends an extra sensitivity to your ability. Next time you are in a restaurant watch a couple. Doesn't mater which one. Notice who touches who and how it is done. Watch mannerisms, and facial expressions.

Ask these questions.

Are each of them happy?

Who touches who? And in what context? Loving, or motherly, or as a way to restrict movement?

Are they in love? Have they cheated? Was their marriage a mistake?

Are they in a crisis? A celebration? Just another day?

Who decides on the family decisions?

Are each quiet, shy, flamboyant, sensitive, a bully, pushy, easy going?

Make a person profile on each. Check out your thoughts. This detective work is the first step in profiling thieves and murders, but it also will help in relationships. It adds reason for actions.

It may not prevent a fight but it will help you understand the reasons behind it.

Exercises:

1. A man and woman in their 40's sitting next to each other in a restaurant. He isn't saying much, just staring. She has her hand on his leg while she speaks softly, then grazes his face. He pulls back ever so slightly. What is it that is going on between them? (She is being loving while he doesn't want to allow her closeness, most likely a fight or maybe even a loss in the family)
2. five friends are talking while standing together. Everyone seams happy. So who likes who? Is there a riff anywhere? Where are they standing, who is next to or just behind who? Standing close denotes friendship, standing within another personal space denotes close relationship, standing just behind someone denote a wanting of a relationship.)
3. A couple walks into a restaurant, they are both sad and reserved, barely a word is spoken, there is tears in her eyes which she wipes to hide, and he hangs his head low and apologizes way to much. (This was us the other day. We almost split up. We had fought the stopped but couldn't find out way back.)

So many times we get into fights because one of the people involved are fighting past demons or another personal problem. So please take the time to at least think before throwing a relationship down the toilet.

There comes a time in girls life when

You have no choice but to work with fondant. In two day's I have to have tow wedding cakes done and I have never worked with fondant This is the drawing I have to work with. Wish me luck.

These are the completed cakes

It is official I am an Author.

My first book just came out this month .

Like a spider's web, one lie is woven over another creating the perfect deception

A mothers vision of her son’s future!

A child’s recurring nightmare!

A woman set on revenge!

A young girls dream of the prefect wedding!

And Childhood friends who will stop at nothing!

The purity of a teens love is tested when she finds the mysterious man she married isn’t who she thought he was. Who is this man and what ties him to her past? And just how far will each person go in this life and death struggle for survival.

Here are the three links to getting it or you can order at a barnes and noble, or amazon

http://bookstore.xlibris.com/Products/SKU-0113434049/A-Spiders-Web.aspx

http://bookstore.xlibris.com/Products/SKU-0113434050/A-Spiders-Web.aspx

http://bookstore.xlibris.com/Products/SKU-0113434003/A-Spiders-Web.aspx

On these links it also gives the ISBN number to order it through the other companies.

Letting Go: How to leave an abusive relationship.

Letting Go: How to leave an abusive relationship.


Although many have written on this subject, there is usually one flaw in their words, They have never been in that situation, therefore have no idea what is really about to happen to you. I do. I have been in abusive relationships and have had friends in them as well. I prayed for a how to manual when my sisters ex-husband's sister died while trying to leave her abusive husband. I won't want to frighten you but I lost a friend and her two children that day.


So things are at a point where your done with the relationship. He has either hurt your child or really hurt you. Everyone is telling you "Get out - you will be a lot better." Maybe you have put it off but it's gotten to a point where you just can't any longer. I don't want to scare you but more woman die trying to leave than at any other time. And most of them had restraining orders in place.


1. Be smart, Prepare ahead, don't tell anyone. No not anyone. Why not you ask? Simple, others can betray you thinking they are helping. A tiny slip can mean disaster. One friends mother told her husband she was leaving him, she was at work, she was beaten to near death when she got home. Another friends, best friend told her husband, he in turn told her husband. Play it smart, trust no one. Save money if you can. Contact a woman's shelter if needed. Move away if possible.


2. Document everything, every scratch and threat. but do it sensibly. Go to the police station, Do not call them to your house. If your husband knows any officers don't go that route. They will tell him. Instead, send documentation to a woman at work. Send by mail. Have her leave them sealed until you need them for a restraining order. And take pictures. In the documentation state why you didn't go to the police. All this will help your case later.


3. Get You ducks in a row. OK! He leaves at this time and will be gone until this time. But don't trust it. Most likely he has sensed something is a miss and today he will change his pattern. Plan on it. Have a friend watching to make sure he remains where he should. Have them call if he leaves. Tell them you are planning a surprise...... You are you know! Be prepared for that call if it happens, back track fast. If not and everything is a go. Get in and out fast.


4. Travel light. Travel fast. Bring only the necessities. a couple of pairs of cloths, and what is needed for the kids. The rest isn't worth your life. You can make plans to have someone not acquainted with either of you retrieve things later. That is unless he does what mine did, burn everything on our front lawn. I got out with my two kids in pj's and two pillows, a blanket and the cloths on my back. But I got out alive.


5. Get help. Now that you are out it is time to solicit help, from police, family, people he never met (co-workers or friends of friends). Know who to ask, and until you are sure they are behind you don't offer info. Get restraining orders. But note, they only stop those who are law biding. Most likely he will break the order. But if he does it enough and you are still alive at some point they will arrest him.


6. Change locations. Follow the advice given to "AA" members. Change your people you associate with, place's you go, and things you do. Change schools for the kids and let them know he is being restrained from seeing them so the school won't release them to him. Make sure your children are aware not to contact him. A lonely child might do that.


7. Watch your back. It is never really over. He may come for you in a day, a week, or a year but he will come. You are not safe until he has someone else on his string. Maybe not even then. I had a man who I dated two weeks, show us in my back yard 3 years later and peered in my windows. Then 4 years after that he found me in Florida. I had met him in Michigan and had no contact with him or anyone we both knew. My point is he will find you if he wants to. Stay on guard.

If you follow these steps you have a good chance. Remember it wasn't your fault and he will not change, so do not go back under any circumstances. That's the most likely time for him to get even and kill you. Once you're gone stay gone and Good Luck!


By Karlyn Rayne

　

family ties

"Family", Wikipedia says is (from Latin: familiare) is a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity, or co-residence. To some it is genetics, blood ties, generation after generation of relatives. To me that is the meaning of a relative. Family can be that but also much more.

As the years roll by we accumulate friends, get married, divorced, adopt, have kids, loose family members, find pets. These people come and go in our lives. But there are a select few that for what ever reason, we keep in our hearts. This is the true meaning of family. Those we hold within our hearts. Those who teach us who we are. For me there are few, the elite of my surroundings. Not all are genetic family and not all are living. Family is a group of people from which we learn as well as teach.

My parents are gone but never forgotten. They are my roots. My mother, a woman ahead of her time, yet also timelessly stuck in the past. So smart, knowing things that few dream of knowing. She taught me of the universe, souls, spirits, and entities. She gave me my love of fire. My father, worked in a car factory he taught me, we ourselves are the only ones we can count on. That life is meaningless if we are not passionate about something. Anything. Together they taught me that life is a gift, but a temporary one. Everything changes.

My Sister (One of three) the oldest in our family. She is my rock, my sounding board. As a child, she was the one who cared for me most. As the years went by she allowed me to take steps, fall, and pick myself up. But she was always there in case I needed help. She still is there even though we are now wives, mothers, and aging fast.

My youngest Daughter, The connection to her is so strong. She is my inspiration. She wills things and they are done. "No", isn't amongst her vocabulary! She has no concept of things being beyond her grasp. She pushes through odds that would topple God himself and shovels right on as though it was just a momentary bad day.

My husband. An Activist in the war of life and it's survival. The soul mate of which dreams are made of. He is the incarnation of all my past prayers of a perfect man. And the connection is a blending of souls into one united force. Our lives before we met were not easy. Since we met they have been just as hard. The difference lies within our souls. The uniting force of love to overcome anything while also sending into the world a message of hope to others.

My companion, Raptor. She is at present about my age, a little sensitive, but a true friend. She is a Siberian Husky. But her species aside, she is an extension of myself. We share everything, talks, moods, quiet times of reflection, and loving caresses. We feel each others pain, there is no need to call the others name.... we know. She is beside me, never leaving my side if I hurt. I will do the same should that need arise. She teaches me unyielding devotion, love and patience. She is in, my books, the incarnation of Christ consciousness

From there my family extends outward to others, although not all family within the traditional context, they reside within my heart. Two cousins, a group of three furry grand kids, Cody-lu. Demon and and now little Bella, and three friends from my past Martha, Mae and Petra. They taught me the meaning of friendship and allowing others into that unit with out jealousy. We were "The Sex in the City" equivalent. They still reside within my heart although many miles forced us apart. And two from my circle, Robin and Linda. I am also apart from them as the miles have pushed me in another direction. They were my coming of age within my own creative abilities, as I came out of what Pagans call the "broom closet". It is when you admit to your beliefs and stand proud. Allowing others to see you for who you really are. And two ex's as they are battling cancer. They are all residing within my heart and therefor my family.

A Quote by someone not living with the moment

If you're always racing to the next moment, what happens to the one you're in? .....Enjoy the ride.

~~~Author Unknown

Think about it. We as a race of animals are forever pushing forward, faster and faster. Trying to get.....where? Who knows, who really cares? So what happens if we suddenly stop and live in the moment???????

Well?

You suddenly become a part of it, basking within its glory. Living life within the moment - each moment - every moment allows you the time to enjoy life and change what we do not. Each memory will be cherished, or left behind as fast as it starts. Because living within the moment is too hard to do if it is a bad place you are in. So you must change it then ....not when you get time but right then. You suddenly accept responsibility for yourself and your actions.

I invite you to sit back, relax and live within the moment. Cherish your time with loved ones, friends and family because tomorrow may just bring an ending instead of a possible beginning. You may feel you have time but the number one thought going through a dieing persons head is regret. Regret that they didn't spend more time doing something or being with someone.

Live each moment as it it is your last.
Follow your dreams it is never to late.
Give hugs and kisses freely.
And forgive immediately.

With every new thing some old ends

With every new thing  some thing old ends. This is a statement that us factual, although sometimes not appreciated.

This week my father-in-law passed from this life into the next. He passed quietly but with a lot of emotions. In  the end he was unable to speak. This was a back step, but  he understood his family and they understood what he had wanted to say. He left behind a wife and three adult kids. My husband being the eldest. This is a sad and yet empowering time for all involved. This was out families loss.

From that we took with us memories and love of family and hopefully a tolerance of family members. In crisis everyone acts differently.

Our blessing this month are My daughter is getting married and her wedding shower is now something we can put behind us.

I also sent my first book to print. A novel. I hope some of you get to see it. It will be out and ready to buy in about two months.

My husband has caught up on his endeavors.

My daughter is wading through the tape of getting married. The wedding is June 16th

A 200 guest wedding and I am making my first wedding cake. A white frosting with black flowers and bows along with pink flowers. On the top will be the nightmare before Xmas couple and at the bottom will be the doggy

This is our slow month.