1. Naughty Santa will stand in front of a supermarket wearing his Santa suit, ringing a bell and wi...
shing everyone a Happy Hanukkah.
2. Being to tired to make it home, Santa was seen wrapping himself in swaddling clothes and laying in the manger of his neighbor's nativity scene.
3. After being fired Naughty Santa put on his suit and open a mall booth that sells reindeer jerky and Easter Bunny filets.
4. Wicked Santa called Park Rangers in and told them Rudolph is sick. Asking if he could borrow one of their reindeer. After being told no, he yelled at them and told them they are heartless bastards and ruined Christmas for all the children around the world.
5. A fight with Mrs. Clause drive Santa to wearing his Santa suit going to the nearest red light district and standing on the corner yelling "Ho! Ho! Ho!" as women walk by.
6. After being the last hired as a mall Santa, a frustrated Santa told all the children that they've been naughty and would not be getting any presents this year.
7. To get even with his neighbors who reported him to the decoration committee for his association. He decided to create snow sculptures in his yard of snowmen & women in suggestive poses.
8. Instead of handing out candy canes, Bad Santa bought a package of Keebler's E.L. Fudge Sandwich Cookies and give them out; telling the children “this is what happens to the bad elves.”
9. After Santa had a partially bad day at the mall, He decided to decorate his yard to look like a sleigh where the eight tiny reindeer crashed and burned. Walk back and forth along the street muttering, "I told them no drinking".
10. Plus you never want to hire a Santa for a corporate holiday party and have him ask everyone if they'd like to see some naked pictures of Santa.
11. After having no luck getting the temperature at the mall turned down to be cooler; Santa decides to sell jars of water, advertising them as Frosty the Snowman urns.
12. Santa being feed up with the greedy little children who wanted everything. He tells them the children they'll get what he gives 'em and that's all! Any complaining and No gifts for you.
13. As the mall closed one child told Santa he would have milk and cookies waiting for him. Santa’s reply … Hey kid I’m sick of the milk and cookies crap how about a beer and some hot pretzels.
14. Santa feeling a little put out by all the Grinch gala, he removes the red carpet going up to his chair and replaces it with a Grinch-skin rug.
15. Tired of hearing Christmas songs all day at the mall, Naughty Santa puts a post sign in his front yards that says Carolers Welcome. But then he sets the water sprinklers to go off as soon as they reach the door.
16. Santa tired of being up down for his lack of holiday decorations. He randomly replaces one bulb in each of neighbor's lights so they no longer work. Repeating this every day until Christmas.
So, Give kindness along your way,
And share with all a merry holiday.
For if you make old Santa mad,
You may find your holiday very sad.
Blessings and smiles,
Lady Abigail
Copyright © 12062012
2. Being to tired to make it home, Santa was seen wrapping himself in swaddling clothes and laying in the manger of his neighbor's nativity scene.
3. After being fired Naughty Santa put on his suit and open a mall booth that sells reindeer jerky and Easter Bunny filets.
4. Wicked Santa called Park Rangers in and told them Rudolph is sick. Asking if he could borrow one of their reindeer. After being told no, he yelled at them and told them they are heartless bastards and ruined Christmas for all the children around the world.
5. A fight with Mrs. Clause drive Santa to wearing his Santa suit going to the nearest red light district and standing on the corner yelling "Ho! Ho! Ho!" as women walk by.
6. After being the last hired as a mall Santa, a frustrated Santa told all the children that they've been naughty and would not be getting any presents this year.
7. To get even with his neighbors who reported him to the decoration committee for his association. He decided to create snow sculptures in his yard of snowmen & women in suggestive poses.
8. Instead of handing out candy canes, Bad Santa bought a package of Keebler's E.L. Fudge Sandwich Cookies and give them out; telling the children “this is what happens to the bad elves.”
9. After Santa had a partially bad day at the mall, He decided to decorate his yard to look like a sleigh where the eight tiny reindeer crashed and burned. Walk back and forth along the street muttering, "I told them no drinking".
10. Plus you never want to hire a Santa for a corporate holiday party and have him ask everyone if they'd like to see some naked pictures of Santa.
11. After having no luck getting the temperature at the mall turned down to be cooler; Santa decides to sell jars of water, advertising them as Frosty the Snowman urns.
12. Santa being feed up with the greedy little children who wanted everything. He tells them the children they'll get what he gives 'em and that's all! Any complaining and No gifts for you.
13. As the mall closed one child told Santa he would have milk and cookies waiting for him. Santa’s reply … Hey kid I’m sick of the milk and cookies crap how about a beer and some hot pretzels.
14. Santa feeling a little put out by all the Grinch gala, he removes the red carpet going up to his chair and replaces it with a Grinch-skin rug.
15. Tired of hearing Christmas songs all day at the mall, Naughty Santa puts a post sign in his front yards that says Carolers Welcome. But then he sets the water sprinklers to go off as soon as they reach the door.
16. Santa tired of being up down for his lack of holiday decorations. He randomly replaces one bulb in each of neighbor's lights so they no longer work. Repeating this every day until Christmas.
So, Give kindness along your way,
And share with all a merry holiday.
For if you make old Santa mad,
You may find your holiday very sad.
Blessings and smiles,
Lady Abigail
Copyright © 12062012
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