- A man and woman in their 40's sitting next to each other in a restaurant. He isn't saying much, just staring. She has her hand on his leg while she speaks softly, then grazes his face. He pulls back ever so slightly. What is it that is going on between them? (She is being loving while he doesn't want to allow her closeness, most likely a fight or maybe even a loss in the family)
- five friends are talking while standing together. Everyone seams happy. So who likes who? Is there a riff anywhere? Where are they standing, who is next to or just behind who? Standing close denotes friendship, standing within another personal space denotes close relationship, standing just behind someone denote a wanting of a relationship.)
- A couple walks into a restaurant, they are both sad and reserved, barely a word is spoken, there is tears in her eyes which she wipes to hide, and he hangs his head low and apologizes way to much. (This was us the other day. We almost split up. We had fought the stopped but couldn't find out way back.)
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
learning to realize stress in others
The last few days have been “trying” to say the least. My daughter having so much trouble with wedding arrangements (in law over powering). Then my own anniversary and the nightmare that ensued. All that started me thinking about people and situations.
Did you ever just sit and watch the people around you. As a security guard or an officer it is an important to “Behavior watch”. Then look for the reasons behind what they do in order to calculate what they are going to do or are even capable of doing.
Practicing always lends an extra sensitivity to your ability. Next time you are in a restaurant watch a couple. Doesn't mater which one. Notice who touches who and how it is done. Watch mannerisms, and facial expressions.
Ask these questions.
Are each of them happy?
Who touches who? And in what context? Loving, or motherly, or as a way to restrict movement?
Are they in love? Have they cheated? Was their marriage a mistake?
Are they in a crisis? A celebration? Just another day?
Who decides on the family decisions?
Are each quiet, shy, flamboyant, sensitive, a bully, pushy, easy going?
Make a person profile on each. Check out your thoughts. This detective work is the first step in profiling thieves and murders, but it also will help in relationships. It adds reason for actions.
It may not prevent a fight but it will help you understand the reasons behind it.
So many times we get into fights because one of the people involved are fighting past demons or another personal problem. So please take the time to at least think before throwing a relationship down the toilet.